This site is dedicated to the ongoing journey of emotional and spiritual growth in the face of physical deterioration. Join Susan S. in her day-to-day battles where victories are celebrated and defeats are sorrowfully appreciated for their lessons.

Friday, September 21, 2007

Yom Kippur 2007

Stepdad and I have returned from NY back to his home about four hours away from my home. We are thrilled to all be together, my husband, daughter, mother, stepfather, and grandmother, for the rapidly approaching Yom Kippur holiday. The day and a half driving trip back was difficult in that my healing pain has been off the charts. This pain is tolerable, however, since many of my symptoms from bone infection encroaching on strategic nerves have dramatically subsided. The horrible pain in my right shoulder blade is almost gone and my failing vision has improved to the point where I may even be able to reduce my screen fonts to sizes which would provide for longer life expectancies of several trees when it comes to printing time. While the Yom Kippur holiday focuses on people asking God for forgiveness for all the crummy things they have done to Her over the past year, it is customary to clear up any misunderstandings between people before embarking upon this endeavor. In this spirit, as I watch the sun setting down below the beautiful mountains that God is allowing me to see this year on the eve of Yom Kippur, I humbly ask all who know me for forgiveness for anything bad that I have caused them, either by direct actions or inadvertent means. Thank you and to all, and happy and healthy year.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Stepfather Part II

Having the gift of a loving father is a wonderful thing and I am sorry to no longer have my father with me in this world. When a stepfather steps in and chooses to fill that role of the missing father to an adult child, it is an incredibly altruistic gift in that the caring is truly selfless. There is no biological bond, nor is there a history of childhood cuddling to lay the foundation for such giving. When a stepfather steps in as mine has, it is a beautiful gift and I hope I'm just like him when I grow up!

Monday, September 17, 2007

Stepfather Part I

I know that the term "stepfather" has a negative connotation to it and we're supposed to use better sounding words such as "bonus father", but my mother's husband has truly stepped in as my father. I have no problem referring to him as my stepfather because that is exactly who he is to me. I thank God that I have him and, right now, I feel as if I am the luckiest person in the world. I know that I'm super sick and suffering and miserable and everything, but at least I have a wonderful stepfather to help me through it! Earlier this month, my husband and daughter and I picked up our lives and moved to a new state for: 1) better career opportunities for my husband, 2) better educational opportunities for my daughter, and 3) better medical opportunities for me. Part of that move left us in closer proximity to NY, with even the possibility of getting there by car. In the middle of all this craziness with settling in a new world, the osteomyelites kicked in big time. I have had pain running down the entire side of my body and my vision has deteriorated horribly. I have needed to get to NY for medical attention from my oral surgeon there but had a very difficult time getting anyone to help me, as it seemed all family members (not that there are many to begin with) were overrun with responsibilities and responsible medical aids were not available due to ridiculous reasons such as hurricanes. I hate not being able bodied enough to travel independently! Upon overhearing my desperation, my stepfather got in his car and drove half a day to my home and then spent another day driving me to New York. At this moment, I am safely tucked away in the hotel that my mother had arranged for us and I know I'm going to be o.k. throughout the procedures this week because my stepfather is here with me. While I wish I was independent enough to face this week on my own, I'm glad to have my stepfather here with me. He can't possibly make the pain go away, but he sure does make me feel like smiling!

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